Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Top 5 No-No's

I think it's already happening....I am becoming bridezilla.

I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing exactly what you want and how you want it, is there?


Let me rephrase. I actually don't think I'm becoming a bridezilla...I think I might feel like one because my answers to "the questions" about wedding planning aren't necessarily normal. But when am I ever normal? Let's be real here.

Here's my top 5 list of things that I hate hearing right now:

1) "What? NO TUXES?!" Whoa, sorry. Didn't realize that's a wedding must-have. But apparently, it is. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE tuxes; they're chic and sharp. However, there are couple of things to keep in mind. First, Scott wears tuxes all the time for school. He looks uber handsome and I love it. BUT, we're going for more casual. And if he wears tuxes almost twice a month (if not more), then that really special element of wearing a full tuxedo is missing. That feeling, my friends, might be replaced with a vest. A khaki one. And he's REAL excited about it. Second, we're getting married at a ranch. Tuxedos. At a ranch. Think about it.....wait for it....weird, right? Exactly.

2) "Why don't you have your dress yet? You've been engaged a month." ....exactly. I've been engaged a month. I know a lot of girls who can pick out their dresses the day after the proposal and be perfectly satisfied, and it makes me jealous. I, on the other hand, will buy a pack of gum from QT and the instant I sit in my car will be second guessing if I made the right decision. If I get a dress now, there's no telling what will be going through my mind come April. This question can also be replaced with "Where's your honeymoon?" and the answer will remain the same.

3) "What exactly is the budget for your wedding?" I really, really wish that wasn't true. That information should be strictly voluntary.

4) "'re using WHAT as decorations?" So maybe I have some crazy, pseudo-tacky ideas. Will they be at the wedding? Maybe, maybe not. But if they are, smile. Just like this lovely couple.

See? They're in love. And they have bunting as decorations. And no one's dying or is confused that they're at a circus.

5) Saved the best for last..."You're waiting a YEAR to get married? Oh sweetheart, that's just not a good decision." Well, whether it was or not, that's the decision we made. Could we have gotten married sooner? Yes, if we wanted a winter wedding. My lil Maid of Honor is traveling to the Outback in February, and I wouldn't do this without her. Yes, I realize that you can get married while in school. However, for Scott and I, these were not the right decisions, and I think that's okay. Everyone's different. Will we be regretting this decision around May? Yeah, probably. But I want to be able to look back on wedding planning and smile, not pull my hair out. And for me, that means a year-long engagement. I wish I could be someone to pull it off in a sixth of the time, really I do. But for me, that's just not feasible, and never in a million years would I drag Scott through it with me.

So, wedding world, there it is. I believe that weddings are a celebration of the couple getting married, not just the bride. If that means that Scott wants tuxes with cowboy boots and spurs, done. Or if that means khaki suits, let there be khaki! If that means Chick Fil A nuggets somewhere amongst the catering festivities, then bring on the Roasted Honey Mustard sauce. And if Scott decides he wants a giant Jello shape thing instead of a groom's cake, I'll gag a little bit, and proceed with finding the most perfect mold.

So in the future, dearest readers, make sure you use caution when talking to a bride. Maybe her style isn't the same or she's doing things "wrong." In reality, she's not. It's her wedding, so let her have her day! No couple should be second-guessing on their wedding day what others will think.

Will our wedding be weird? Maybe. Will it be us? Definitely. And I think that's the most important.


  1. kayla,
    people will ask you questions that will make you upset, they will make statements that will make you upset. my favorite was, "wait... thats a sapphire. he couldnt afford diamonds?"
    screw them! but also, once the question has been asked a few times and you are fuming in bed at 2 in the morning you will come up with a good answer that will satisfy you. and that's the important thing, to satisfy you and your hubby.
    you guys are getting married!! it is best that your wedding reflect your love for each other, not style, not family members style, not "this is for posterity, are you sure you want that?" its for you. so make choices you are comfortable with.
    i found my dress 5 months after i got engaged in a tiny corner shop a bazillion miles from where i got married. it will find you. dont worry. and dont rush.
    jonathan and i were engaged for 14 months and it was heaven. there was time to plan, there was time to enjoy, there was time to bask in the love. i had a roomate that whined that she had to wait a year, i had a roomate who is getting married 5 months after getting engaged, i had a roomate who is waiting a year and a half. all couples are different. one girl told me IN THE CAF that if you were engaged longer than 6 months it would be *terrible* because of the temptation amongst other things. jonathan yells "then go ahead and have sex! if thats the only reason you're getting married" he was ticked off of course but still, no one can tell you what is perfect for your relationship.
    you two are adorable and i wish you the greatest in your planning. people will judge, and you might have to give way to the opinions to the people who are paying, but dont lose who you are.
    your wedding will be wonderful. you will love it because scott will be there, he will say i do, you will say i do and you will be married. hell or high water. and thats all that matters.
    and i have finished my rant.
    if you need any more encouragement, im your girl.

    It always bothers me when people seem to think they know what is best for somebody else's wedding... and I haven't even been engaged yet! I can't even imagine the level of stress that brings... my favorite weddings to attend have always been the ones that are SO the couple... I love leaving and talking about how it SCREAMED the bride... and I KNOW that yours will and I'm super excited I get to be there for it... so I for one think that a 1 year engagement is the BEST thing EVER for you (and mainly for me! haha) LOVE YOU!

  3. I just wanted to say congrats! I also wanted you to know that my services are here for you. I not sure if you knew but I'm a photographer I have been doing weddings for 10 years and if you are looking for a fun photograper that would be I would be happy to show you my wedding and other work if you are interested. (p.s. I have wonderful prices for family and I will work with you so the picture are what you have always dreamed of) love you and can't wait to read more of your blog. I know we don't talk too much but would love to hear from you. By the way my friend had a wedding kinda what you are thinking of and it was a very cute wedding I have picture and can't even get her pictures if you need some ideals. Give me a email back on I'm your friend on facebook. Talk to u soon!!

  4. You should probably read a post I posted about Wedding Etiquette. It's ridiculous what people will ask you.

    I was engaged for 14 months and look, we made it! It will fly by and you will be married before you know it. It's worth it.

  5. I got a LOT of the same questions, although less than I thought I would.
    We also had a very casual wedding, and we've received a ton of compliments because we didn't hold tight to any standards set by the media and did what was right for US!
    And what was also right for us was having a year-long engagement. It was perfect.
    Last but not least, just don't even use the word bridezilla. In my (humble but well-researched after writing a 15 page paper on the matter) the term is something entirely made up by the media to make women look bad and a lot of other stupid stuff.
    Advice though - Just have fun and brush off the stupid questions. :)

  6. YOU GO GIRL! Just stick to your guns and do what you want, and if you or your mom want any help from me or Avery, let us know. You know we would love to help you!!!

  7. Yes mom, we will help in ANY way!

    If you just need to vent about stupid people saying stupid things to you... I am here for you!!!

    One thing I learned in the engagement/ getting married process was to NOT CARE what other people say. You can't let it bother you or get you worked up. I had to LET GO of what people said. I think that it is like that for every bride! The second you get engaged, you feel you like are getting attacked...seriously. There is NO reason for it. People are crazy... and honestly have no clue!

    Love you and everything is going to be PERFECT! I get it Kayla, I get you. You do what you and Scott want because you are right, it is about you two and no one else. I can't even tell you how excited I am for your wedding.


  8. I love this Kayla! You have the right attitude!
    love, lynn (groom's mom)

  9. oh pretty girl I love you so much. Get ready because people will be asking you SO many questions. And trust me they get old SO fast. Just keep you and Scott in the middle (and God to of course) and everything will be fine. You could get married in a dump and i would still think it was a beautiful wedding. it is about the people and I know you and Scott are so in love. I am so happy for you and the wedding will be beautiful. Who really cares what other people think anyway? =)

  10. I'm not sure who asked you number 5, but I'm pretty sure you should have punched them in the face...Anyway, like everyone's said before me, ignore people. People are just stupid and mean sometimes so just worry about you and Scott.